So you think holding a grudge gives you the advantage or evens a score. Ask yourself, “If I hold a grudge will it lift the burden of pain or disgust from my heart?” A reasonable person would say no, it does not lift any burdens or pain from my heart.
Spending some quality time on a plan to find common ground or to find a reasonable approach to reconcile a grudge often leads to compromise. A good concept is to present your concerns in a respectful, genuine manner to the offending party. Sometimes there are no perfect resolutions, but you may be able to live with agreeable variations of an imperfect outcome. If you are able to resolve a grudge, your heart will be clear and you will be free from the net that has been cast. You will feel relaxed, liberated from the daily torment that creates anger, hate, vindictiveness, and the wasteful use of time spent scheming to overpower someone by devious or spiteful means.
If attempts to resolve a grudge continues to fail, it’s time to make a decision. Do you want days, weeks, months of sulking, do you want to spend the rest of your life being perturbed, or do you want to forgive, forget, and move on? Is a grudge worth stewing over, or worth being left unresolved while festering more and more? Is it worth the daily resentment that saps the life out of you? Take a minute to reflect on how short life is and how much happiness each day can bring. Want to be mad, withdrawn, or stressed out? Go ahead, hold a grudge and be miserable? Holding a grudge is a choice with many side effects, whether a person is willing to admit it or not.
From years of personal experience, I will tell you the sooner a grudge can be resolved, the better. I’ve held onto grudges that have absolutely sapped the energy right out of me for days until I finally came to the realization, this can’t go on. Resolve your grudge, believe me a clear heart makes for a happy life and that leads to the desire to keep a clear heart.