Freinds

Problems are not expected to be solved by friends because their willingness and dedication to be by your side when you need them is the greatest comfort.

Are your friends courteous and devoted listeners to what you say? Are they considerate of your conversation and do they accept your life and significance? Are their eyes focused on you and do they understand your anxieties?  If you can answer yes to those questions, then your friends will be by your side when you need them. Problems are not expected to be solved by friends because their willingness and dedication to be by your side when you need them is the greatest comfort.

Actions & Words

If we don’t have integrity, we don’t earn respect. 

Actions and words work together. Would we rather speak the truth or speak words someone wants to hear that pleases them? The display of character is not just words, it is a persons actions that also contribute to character. Our actions are a display of character before the words and after the words. Truthful words and honorable actions solidify our integrity. Without integrity, we don’t earn respect.

Fulfill Your Destiny

Keep your frame of mind positive, since your frame of mind becomes your future.

It only takes a minute to pause and think about your life. Resist the urge to carry out actions on impulse. Assemble your ideas with honorable thoughts, since ideas influence conversations. Deliver your conversations with a respectful tone, since your conversations influence your actions. Command your actions to be honorable, since your actions become your disposition. Make your disposition ethical,  since your disposition becomes your frame of mind. Keep your frame of mind positive, since your frame of mind becomes your future. Your future becomes your destiny. Your destiny becomes who your are. It’s a simple concept, yet we make our destiny complicated.

If We Could See Ourself As Others See Us

Failures are often attributed to doubting ourself, leaving our true identity clouded by our own insecurity.

It could be extraordinary if we had the insight to see ourself as others see us. We could understand what an exceptional person we are or what an exceptional person we could become. It’s easy to sell ourself short without realizing the potential or goodness others see in us. Often we don’t give ourself credit for the talents we display or for the talents we keep in reserve and are reluctant use. Failures are usually attributed to doubting ourself, leaving our true identity clouded by our own insecurity. If only we could see ourselves as others see us.

So, You Want To Hold A Grudge

Is a grudge worth the daily resentment that saps the life out of you? Take a minute to reflect on how short life is and how much happiness each day can bring. Want to be mad, withdrawn, or stressed out? Go ahead, hold a grudge and be miserable? It’s a choice with many side effects, whether a person is willing to admit it or not.

So you think holding a grudge gives you the advantage or evens a score. Ask yourself, “If I hold a grudge will it lift the burden of pain or disgust from my heart?” A reasonable person would say no, it does not lift any burdens or pain from my heart.

Spending some quality time on a plan to find common ground or to find a reasonable approach to reconcile a grudge often leads to compromise. A good concept is to present your concerns in a respectful, genuine manner to the offending party. Sometimes there are no perfect resolutions, but you may be able to live with agreeable variations of an imperfect outcome. If you are able to resolve a grudge, your heart will be clear and you will be free from the net that has been cast. You will feel relaxed, liberated from the daily torment that creates anger, hate, vindictiveness, and the wasteful use of time spent scheming to overpower someone by devious or spiteful means.

If attempts to resolve a grudge continues to fail, it’s time to make a decision. Do you want days, weeks, months of sulking, do you want to spend the rest of your life being perturbed, or do you want to forgive, forget, and move on? Is a grudge worth stewing over, or worth being left unresolved while festering more and more? Is it worth the daily resentment that saps the life out of you? Take a minute to reflect on how short life is and how much happiness each day can bring. Want to be mad, withdrawn, or stressed out? Go ahead, hold a grudge and be miserable? Holding a grudge is a choice with many side effects, whether a person is willing to admit it or not.

From years of personal experience, I will tell you the sooner a grudge can be resolved, the better. I’ve held onto grudges that have absolutely sapped the energy right out of me for days until I finally came to the realization, this can’t go on.  Resolve your grudge, believe me a clear heart makes for a happy life and that leads to the desire to keep a clear heart.

Enemies Tempt by Arrogance & Evil

Happiness in the heart in the heart with God at the helm is better than all the arrogance and evil spewed by those who thrown away Gods principles. Pray to God with all your heart and blessings to all.

The temptation and excitement to be drawn into devious situations that promise fulfillment is always present, ready to nab you at your weakest moment. We have all been there and hopefully overcame the challenges of that moment. True happiness occurs from following your moral code that should have been cultivated through teachings of righteousness at a young age and continuing through adulthood. A person flourishes because they have built their foundation for life on scriptural principals. Evil will challenge every day to dominate thoughts and actions, but it cannot win if a person calls upon the righteous foundation on which they stand.

Many countries stand up and crow, they worship their money, their power, and they promote acts which poison their people. This does not have to happen, but we allow it to happen because we follow instead of leading. We all have the power to fracture the control that chokes the human spirit and the power to expel all who seek to exploit us. The immense power of people praying for action and guidance to overcome the grip that has been slowly tightening around our life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness can free us from those who set out to control, manipulate, and exploit us for monetary or personal gain. The force of evil never wants us to be unified because there is colossal power through unity as a human race and unity in prayer. Constant division by political parties, race, gender, internal and national conflicts keeps us in an uproar, unable to come together as a country or a world for our spiritual growth and awakening. We find it hard to concentrate and the everyday static from vile sources seek to thwart our search for truth. Evil is persistent, often unseen but it can be recognized and will always be defeated by goodness.

The arrogant infest our life everyday, they tell us how we should live, what we should do, and how we should spend our money. Many of the pompous schmucks speak out of both sides of their mouth, telling us what we want to hear while doing something else. They believe their lies, they are deceitful, and place little value on life. Words from the mouths of the conceited wreak of venom, their flamboyant speech is insincere.  They will crow and they will eventually belly flop on their own words.  They will hang them selves because they have defied righteousness.

Our enemies taunt us. They say we have no God who will help us in our time of need. Yet we know this is not true, still our enemies persist. The day is promised when our enemies will be reduced to nothing.  We must take refuge in that promise.  When we go to bed at night and roll out in the morning, who sustained us through the night? Who will sustain us through the day? Who do we call upon when we are in distress, who do we call upon when we need mercy and our prayer to be heard? Who lends us an ear for our words, and who do we call upon when we want to live in safety. There is only one correct answer to these questions, the answer is God. Our offerings are those spoken of in the scriptures, of morality, and goodness.

Happiness in the heart with God at the helm is better than all the deceitful arrogance and evil spewed by those who have lost Gods principles.  Stick to your morals, values and principles. Pray to God with all your heart and blessings to all.

Part II, Go To The Source Of The Problem

Our problems are either solved through our own action, or they are left for someone else to solve, or they continue to eat away at our peace of mind for long periods of time. Eventually a lengthy problem can frustrate us so much that we are forced to come to some kind of reconciliation whether it is haphazard or resolute.

A brief intro about how I formulated this article. It came straight from the events in my own life with a touch of common sense and a bit of a knack for transferring thoughts into words. I was raised with diligent care given to the building blocks of life which led to a strong foundation in common sense. I was never the perfect student but I always had a good foundation to seek the right direction in life. The idea of problem resolution came to me through years of trial and error. Resolving problems was a learning process for me which required many adjustments and refinements until I came upon some principles that worked. I have used principles from five categories of problems many times and find they do result in resolution. A book could be written on this and indeed many have by distinguished individuals. This is my attempt to reduce the bulkiness of problem resolution to a brief article which captures the highlights of my thoughts. I realized sharing what has worked for me throughout the years would be a good opportunity to perhaps help others. If only one person reads this article and they resolve a problem based on my experience, it was worth the effort I put into this.

Our problems are either solved through our own action, or they are left for someone else to solve, or they continue to eat away at our peace of mind for long periods of time. Eventually a lengthy problem can frustrate us so much that we are forced to come to some kind of reconciliation whether it is haphazard or resolute. My belief is there are at least five categories of problems. I will briefly offer ideas for resolving problems related to each of the categories in the following order; resolved, unresolved, ignored, festering, and out of our control. All problems regardless of which category they fall in are only resloved by going to the source of the problem.

First resolving a problem takes effort, planning, and execution. There is a lot of information in this short paragraph on resolving a problem, it’s a lot to digest but a problem requires diverse and diligent thought to solve. If a problem is to be resolved, consider the following guidelines. Always go directly to the source of the problem even though it may be a difficult endeavor. The best way to resolve a problem is to identify it, confront it head on, determine the desired outcome, and determine what you can live with if you don’t achieve the desired outcome. Set up a direct line of communication to find common ground, resolutions are more apt to happen when there is common ground. Leave emotions out of the resolution, attack the problem never the person. Be prepared to steer away from possibilities which lead to conflict. The clearer the problem is defined, the better the outcome. Determine who is affected and stick to facts. Brainstorming will create many ideas for resolution. Review where and how the  problem occurred and what are all the possible scenarios that could derail a solution.  Are there barriers to a solution that must be overcome? It’s important to be honest and listen intently because if a problem is addressed in a haphazard manner, the deeper issue never surfaces, it just gets kicked down the road to pop up another day. Threats, blaming, getting even, or bringing up the past will rarely solve any problem. Remember what created the problem and how it was resolved so it does not reoccur in the future. Do not be afraid to ask for guidance from God.  “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but anyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5)

The information in the previous paragraph addresses many things to think about when resolving a problem. Implementing those guidelines separately or in conjunction with multiple guidelines will give a person the best opportunity to resolve a problem  Do not get discouraged, some kind of resolution will occur. Perhaps it may not be entirely to your liking or on your time schedule, but it can be one you are able to live with.

The second type of problem is the unresolved problem. Even going directly to the source of an unresolved problem may not be productive but it can be worth a try. Some problems are destined for no resolution and remain unresolved due to stubbornness of the parties involved or the lack of our own motivation to solve them. If neither party is willing to reconcile, there are three choices.

A) Accept there are differences of opinion that are deeply ingrained and quickly move on. Some problems may not be resolved, but agreeing to disagree is an option. Try not to take problems personal, it’s easy to withdrawal when we have been attacked.  Attacks call for confidence in ourself and our abilities, our confidence must rule the day.

B)  Although one may feel like a problem cannot be resolved, never give up if it affects your happiness. Agreeing on another time to revisit a problem after a cooling off period can lead cooler heads to prevail. This cooling off period can be good when parties are not in the frame of mind to resolve a problem.  Stepping away to regroup before saying something one regrets is also a good strategy.  Agreeing to revisit a problem at a later date can also prompt one of the parties to take the initiative in the interim. Usually a clearer and more rational thought process is brought forth after a period of  time. Yet some problems are destined to be unresolved in a manner that meets our expected outcome.

C) If a problem cannot be resolved, enlisting a third party to negotiate a resolution is an option but it can potentially muddy the original dispute. Over time the problem can be sugar coated in fear of upsetting someone or it can be completely misconstrued and become more complicated. When third party resolutions are presented, they may be a little more abstract with a touch of ad lib which may not reflect the real guts of the original problem. Other times involving a third party brings a new perspective and resolution is obtained. Even in third party resolutions, the involvement of  the disputing parties is a requirement.  Just beware of third party resolutions because many times they have no ownership in the original problem or they look for some kind of gain from the resolution. Third parties are surely a necessity for problem resolution in legal matters, health matters, and any matter that would require expertise beyond your own capabilities. Even third parties sometimes struggle to find common ground to move forward. Some problems are destined for a lengthy resolution or compromise, some degree of acceptance should be considered so one can get on with their life.

The third type of problem is ignoring the problem. If a problem affects your happiness, it must be addressed. Ignoring a problem will never make it disappear and it will eat away at your peace of mind. Confront the problem quickly but with diligence. Don’t wait until the last minute to address an issue because it will be a haphazard resolution. Ignoring a problem only re-enforces the perpetrators will to continue to take advantage of a situation. Bad habits will definitely be developed by ignoring problems, the thought that someone else will solve them for us is often not true. The more we ignore problems the more we become disengaged with family, friends, society, and the world. Eventually an “I don’t care” attitude develops and that is the beginning of a lazy attitude toward life. Addressing a problem will bring about changes in our life that contribute to happiness, self motivation, unity, understanding, and compassion.

The fourth type of problem is the festering problem. The festering problem never gets resolved unless we face the source. Do not intentionally let a problem fester, it will only grow and get worse because it is not resolved. Letting a problem fester causes stress and anxiety. It will lead to bitterness, irritation, and will certainly lead to decay between the festering parties. These failures of resolution will take a toll on ones ability to function optimally on the job and in their personal life. The longer a problem festers, the less time we have for happiness and peace with the most important things in our life. Always address problems, it’s challenging at times due to the circumstances, but the payoff will put nagging issues to rest.

The fifth type of problem we struggle with is the problem which is completely out of our control. This is a problem where the source must be considered and is it possible to go to the source? These types of problems are usually created high up on the chain of command and pushed down to a level which impacts all of us. They are real problems and can be quite frustrating, but they are not worth consuming all of our time, energy, or our life. This type of problem will never just fade away, try to find a way to cope with issues which affect your happiness. The out of our control problem can be very difficult to resolve due to the chain of command. If one is unable to cope with the problem try to muster the self confidence to follow the proper channels to address the problem. Be prepared for a lengthy journey, stick with it, be patient, and be prepared for the outcome.

There are many avenues to take once we go to the source of the problem. With prudent thought, happiness and resolution can ensue. I hope you have found some helpful information in this article. These are common sense approaches which are known by all of us. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to forget the basic steps we must take in order to find resolution to problems. I can personally attest that I have frozen more than once when presented with a shocking problem that I was not prepared for. Finding a way to resolution at that particular instant escaped my ability to logically respond. Only after regrouping was I able to respond and diligently resolve the problem. I suspect we all have been in similar situations.

If we have faith, life is easier. We know that God is there to take our hand and carry us through our burdens. God gives us strength to face our problems and to bring resolution, comfort, peace, and happiness.  I know you’ll find a way to solve your problems day by day.